Monday morning while driving to work I received that annoying warning that all car owners hate to get. The dreaded "Service Engine Soon" light came on. Although I drive a company truck and any repairs needed will be taken care of, there is still that feeling of the unknown; when and where will I break down. Now if this was my own personal vehicle, I would really be worried because of the the other unknown - the cost.
Now lets go back ten hours to Sunday night. I like to think of myself and I'm sure others also think of me as the "gap-filler". If there is someone who is absent for any reason, or you just need someone to do something, ask me, I always say yes. Until Sunday night.
The co-leader of our Youth Ministry asked me if I was ready to speak again in their upcoming service, and I told her I would rather not, and that I thought she should ask the younger men, giving them more experience. I thought my reasoning was right on. After all, I am comfortable "stepping out of the boat", and speaking in front of this smaller group could be a stepping stone to bigger audiences for one or all of these younger men. WRONG!
Needless to say, I tossed and turned all night, not going to sleep at all until 1:30am or so. I had planted a seed of doubt in this young ladies mind. The next time she needs a speaker for her service, will she automatically think of me next time?
Back to Monday and the dreaded light. I knew what I had to do. This is my own personal vessel, no one else is going to pay for this. I had to fix it my self. So I called her and apologized, again stating my reasoning, but also assuring her that anytime she needs me, just ask.
Praise God that when we have something going wrong in our vessels and we aren't hitting on all cylinders he warns us with his "Service Engine Soon" light!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Total Surrender
I spent the most part of last week reading and searching God's word in order to debate a doctrinal issue with a fellow Christian. I really felt like I was doing the right thing, after all, I knew I was right. Then I stopped and listened to the still small voice in my head. "Why are you wasting your time discussing My words with your brother? If you are so determined to tell someone what you believe, tell your unsaved friends and family!"
That brings me to Sunday School. We had a very good lesson on King Josiah. Josiah was doing right, trying to change the wrong doings of the past sixty years. I'm sure he thought he was doing all he could. Then someone handed him the Word of God. The scripture says that after he read the TRUTH, he rent his clothes. I began to think, how many Christians today "feel" like they are doing all they can or need to do. It's when we get into the Word, that we realize our shortcomings.
Our teacher made the comment that Josiah wanted to serve God one hundred percent, and asked the question how could this be done. The first thought that came to my mind was total surrender, and I suggested it. This of course raised more questions of what is "total surrender".
So, the past few days I have not wasted my time worrying about proving to a friend that I believe that I am right, instead I have been searching and praying for divine revelation of a word that I can't seem to get out of my head. Surrender.
I read some of Oswald Chambers writings on this subject, and I think he nailed it on the head. (He always does!) When we can get to the point where we no longer want God's blessings, but God Himself, we have surrendered. Let me put it in my words. If our spouse, or child, or parent went away and said that they would come back soon, would we not watch every day with great excitement and anticipation? Would we not wake up each day and pray and hope that this is the day that they return? And each day that they didn't would we not be sad, and when we lay our heads on our pillows at night would we not cry a little?
That's the thought I had. Total Surrender. Being emotionally wrapped up in God that every word, thought, and deed is centered on my love for Him.
Is this attainable? I can't answer for anyone but myself. I do know that once I'm there, a debate over doctrine will not even enter my mind.
That brings me to Sunday School. We had a very good lesson on King Josiah. Josiah was doing right, trying to change the wrong doings of the past sixty years. I'm sure he thought he was doing all he could. Then someone handed him the Word of God. The scripture says that after he read the TRUTH, he rent his clothes. I began to think, how many Christians today "feel" like they are doing all they can or need to do. It's when we get into the Word, that we realize our shortcomings.
Our teacher made the comment that Josiah wanted to serve God one hundred percent, and asked the question how could this be done. The first thought that came to my mind was total surrender, and I suggested it. This of course raised more questions of what is "total surrender".
So, the past few days I have not wasted my time worrying about proving to a friend that I believe that I am right, instead I have been searching and praying for divine revelation of a word that I can't seem to get out of my head. Surrender.
I read some of Oswald Chambers writings on this subject, and I think he nailed it on the head. (He always does!) When we can get to the point where we no longer want God's blessings, but God Himself, we have surrendered. Let me put it in my words. If our spouse, or child, or parent went away and said that they would come back soon, would we not watch every day with great excitement and anticipation? Would we not wake up each day and pray and hope that this is the day that they return? And each day that they didn't would we not be sad, and when we lay our heads on our pillows at night would we not cry a little?
That's the thought I had. Total Surrender. Being emotionally wrapped up in God that every word, thought, and deed is centered on my love for Him.
Is this attainable? I can't answer for anyone but myself. I do know that once I'm there, a debate over doctrine will not even enter my mind.
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